Hot off the back of the UK's General Election, Binface will be visiting Komedia Brighton with his brand new live comedy show, featuring his unique take on Britain, his special brand of sci-fi satire, and of course his unbeatable manifesto.
Cheaper croissants? Check. The nationalisation of Adele? Check. The return of Ceefax? Check. Water bosses to take a dip in UK rivers to see how they like it?
How are you finding your time on earth?
Count Binface: I love it! I come to Earth for my holidays. Taking part in democratic elections on your planet is a joy and a privilege, and I also enjoy immersing myself in the wonders of human culture: especially Lovejoy, Ceefax, Adele, and the collected works of Chris Rea.
Tell us about your show
Count Binface: I'm on my (moral) victory lap, fresh from thrashing the fascists of Britain first in the London mayoral election, and then securing my highest ever finish in a General Election against poor old Rishi Now-Axed. In the show, I'll reveal just what's gone wrong with your planet and how together we can fix it, all served up with the best sci-fi satire this side of the restaurant at the end of the Universe.
What do you hope audiences can take away from your show?
Count Binface: Hope, optimism, wisdom, and that lovely pain you get in the stomach from laughing too hard. Plus they will have the most sophisticated knowledge of croissant-based economics in the cosmos.
What are the top highlights of your manifesto?
Count Binface: Price-capping croissants obviously. But I'll also make water bosses swim in British rivers to see how they like it, I'll build at least one affordable house, I'll ban speakerphones on public transport - with offenders to be forced to live with Matt Hancock for a year - and many, many more.
How was the campaign trail?
Count Binface: Charming! I love meeting humans up and down the UK and it's been wonderful getting to know Londoners and Yorkshirians(?) in 2024. I can't wait to learn more about many more regions of this fine country, and not only so I can pinpoint the most strategic place for me to win an election. Honest.
What was it like to face off against Rishi in the election?
Count Binface: Very funny. To watch fourteen years of Tory failure come crashing down around him, and to be there as he got an almighty kick in the ballots, was beautiful. To be fair to him, at least he made it to election day. Which is more than you can say for the Clustertruss. I never had the joy of taking her on in electoral combat, because she's just too damn awful.
Have you got any advice or thoughts for Keir Starmer?
Count Binface: I do indeed. First off, congratulations on becoming Prime Minister. But then even Liz Truss managed that, so it can't be that hard. Now you're in power, though, Keir, why don't you try not being such a heartless bastard as the last lot? To start your new wave of austerity by going after winter fuel payments seems a bit harsh. You could take the entire amount you want to raise by a windfall tax on Rishi Sunak and his wife, and they wouldn't even notice it missing from their bank accounts. Hey presto! The Tories might not be able to provide any decent opposition, but I will. Start taking from the rich, or I'll take your parliamentary seat in 2028. That's a promise.
What are your thoughts about coming to Brighton on 16th October?
Count Binface: Brighton is the jewel of the south coast, and I can't wait to bring Bindependence Day to the seaside. I won't step in the actual sea, obviously, because these days it's stewn with human turds. And speaking of human turds, only I pledge to force UK water bosses to take a dip in British seas and rivers, to see how they like it. Brighton is one of the progressive parts of the UK, with first Caroline Lucas and now Sian Berry blazing a trail for the Greens. But that's nothing. Join me for a unique night of sci-fi satire, as I unveil the most unbeatable manifesto in the galaxy.